Kinsi’s AMAZING weight loss studio: Where fat comes to (literally) B-U-R-N
In this world of GREAT haste, who has the TIME to invest in exercise and diet!? The thought of such hardship is enough to knock the Chocolate Molten cake RIGHT off my serving plate. This life is rough enough without the added ‘bonus’ of grass infused rations meals and Spanish inquisition inspired death exercise programs.
Less than dignified the last time you met your ex?
Nothing like a little cake stealing to really put the damper on any birthday party! But not to fret, that is why at Kinsi’s CRAZY AMAZING weight loss studio, we have devised FOOL PROOF methods to get the results you need in an INSANELY fast fashion! And if that wasn’t amazing enough, we have also provided a BONUS addition of Memory Wiping Powder from the Siberian Rainforest. This magical powder will be sure to wipe your ex’s mind CLEAN of any unsanitary memories. What a B-A-R-G-A-I-N!!
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Ladies and gents, Introducing the “Slenderising matchstick Kit 4000”. EVERYTHING you could possibly need for a new you is included!
So EASY to assemble!! Just clear your schedule for an evening and let the magic happen!!
note: make sure to do this in a secluded area as others might get jealous of your amazing weight loss technique and report you to the police.
As you can tell, the Hog stick Attendant is in totally amazing shape and will TOTALLY inspire you as he rotates the hog stick rod. He’s also a great singer and totally will sing ANY Michael Bolton song you request. What could be better?! For ULTIMATE MAXIMUM fat loss, he will rotate rod every 5 minutes. As he rotates, he will also tell you amazing stories about amazing things TOO amazing to mention until you buy this product!
Unlike most conventional ‘exercises’ that exist today, the “Slenderising Matchstick Kit 4000” does SPOT REDUCE. A little too much jiggle round the belly? Well, it’s nothing our hog stick attendant can’t fix by intensifying heat of firewood! Best of all, for all you pasty folk, our amazing invention also TANS you as you roast slim down.
AND FINALLY, for the bonus addition: Memory Wiping Powder. Just a few easy steps…
note: large flapping ears seem to be a side effect of this weight loss technique. however luckily for you, huge ears are TOTALLY fashionable in some parts of the world.
It is imperative you make your exit as soon as you blow the smoke as this will help your ex disassociate the cake theft from your good self.
note: make sure to hold your ears as you flee, otherwise you might just get blown away by the wind.
Your ex won’t know WHAT hit them the next time they see your SKINNY non-cake stealing self!!
Call us now before immigration deports Hog stick attendant man!!!!
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