The case of the peeping tom brother
There was nothing remarkable about how that evening started out. In fact it had been a slow week news wise. Everything was more ho hum than usual.
My mom and I were sitting in the living room, both searching for a topic worth heavily debating about and suddenly the intercom started beeping. This could only mean that we had a visitor. How exciting! Who could it be? Maybe an admirer who couldn’t handle the silence?!
But I hadn’t even had a chance to blow dry my hair. How dare he just arrive unannounced?!
We had never even met, and here we were already having our first fight!
This courtship was clearly falling flat on its face.
note: i still would have been secretly flattered
Turns out it was the security guard downstairs who was asking us to come down as our neighbour from the adjoining building had a ‘bone to pick’ with us. Okay, fine, those weren’t the exact words but clearly my paraphrasing of what he probably meant is more interesting.
What could it be? Nothing scandalous, I hoped. *Cough*
Upon going downstairs we received the most ‘distressing’ news from neighbour man.
note: based on author’s recollection of events. some slight alternation to neighbour man’s appearance might have been utilised
My word!
In case you didn’t know, peeping tom refers to one who spies on other people for purposes that are far too ‘risque’ to mention in polite company but I’m sure you get my drift.
My mother was appalled at this accusation, and defended my brother from an allegation that was yet to be revealed to us. It was like being on an episode of ‘Law and Order’ but in far less impressive surroundings/clothing.
I on the other hand was thinking scenes more like this.
note: not sure why we are wearing dark robes and top hats, but it seems like the kind of thing you’d wear in such trying times
To be frank, even though I didn’t believe my brother was actually doing any form of peeping tom-like behaviour , my first inclination still was indignation!
How dare he keep this ‘dark’ secret to himself?! He knew how desperately I longed for a family secret, anything to break the writer’s block I was having. And here he was sitting on prime information……The nerve! I mean even if there was a slight probability he had these ‘tendencies’, I had every right to know.
After some probing, the neighbour finally came clean.According to this man, every morning my brother would walk into his balcony which directly faced this neighbour’s apartment. Hmm, a pretty astute observation from the neighbour man. I started to doubt who was spying on who.
My brother would then proceed to light a cigarette. Following this, he would openly leer at neighbour’s wife who I guess also started each morning by standing outside on her balcony as well.
Neighbour man then went on to say that my brother would then open his silk robe (?????) and ‘expose’ himself as he openly laughed and upon the ‘horrified’ reaction of neighbour’s wife, would also take a picture of her.
WHAT?! Furthermore this had been going on for several weeks?!
My first thought was, well clearly if this has been going on for several weeks, it must be a mutually beneficial arrangement!! This was followed by complete disbelief. My brother was far too boring for such an illicit hobby.
My mother was naturally outraged, and like most mothers couldn’t believe her son would be capable of such activity. I, on the other hand, was rather impressed by his multi-tasking. To be frank, all along I knew there had to be some form of mistake, but then again, as I said, it had been a slow week and the neighbour was really persuasive in his speech!
Between my mother’s angry rebuttals and counter accusations and his swearing on every relative that ever walked the planet that my brother was the local neighbourhood peeping tom, well it was hard not to get swept up by the emotions!
At this point, I called my brother up.
Kinsi ( voice hoarse with drama) : At what point were you going to confess your peeping tom ways?! And where are you hiding this silk robe?!
Brother: What? *laughter* Why is your voice so weird? And what? *more laughter* I’ll be right over to meet the ‘supposed’ victim of my peeping tom ways.
My brother arrived and it was all we could do to restrain the outraged husband.
note: well, something along those lines
Upon arrival of my brother, neighbour man looked rather taken aback (in my brother’s defense, he was going through an awkward period). I could quickly see that he realised my brother wasn’t the man.
He called his wife for final confirmation and she met us outside in her robe ( SERIOUSLY, what is up with all these robes?!)
She saw my brother and instantly said, no, that’s not him. TURNS out, it was the neighbour right below our apartment. My brother was acquitted of ALL allegations. Before I even had a change to write a novel chronicling our struggle as a family to prove his innocence.
My mom of course used this opportunity to deliver a most heart wrenching speech charged with indignation at this ‘baseless’ accusation and how this would have to be a lesson to ‘all’. They then , red faced with their wrongful accusation proceeded to apologise.
A bit too thickly for my likes to be honest.
It would have all been very moving if not for the neighbour lady’s robe that was flapping against my knee.
Anyway to cut a long story short. Everyone now was best friends. My brother was not a peeping tom, and I had lost YET another idea for my imminent best seller.
Rats.
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