eX- Treme Style : ” Make It Yourself” Kit

Tired of wearing plaid, when everyone else is decked out in virgin lizard skin?!

Are you a creative, RESOURCEFUL person, who won’t let a few pesky details such as ‘alleged’ animal cruelty get to you?!

Is EXTREME sport your DRUG OF CHOICE?!

Do you like feeling CRAZY amazing ADRENALINE coursing through your VEINS?

We heard you! And we replied!!

Introducing ….

Make it YOURSELF: Haute Couture Kit ( eX-TREME style)

Fellow fashionistas and fashionistos, it doesn’t get any easier than this!

note 1: our studies have shown that some animals prefer to be clothes.

note 2: prepping time is approx 5 years so be sure to clear schedule

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Discretion is key.

Ducks are easily startled so make sure to plant yourself in a well the night before. Ignore the villagers that protest that you are tainting their fresh water supply with the gasoline your “Turbo Animal Capturing Device” is emitting. Fashion takes sacrifice, and if they must be sacrificed, so be it.

Crazy AMAZING camouflage, the duck will NEVER see it coming.

note 1: time of arrival for duck not guaranteed. carry suitcase and portable bathroom in case.

note 2: Animal capturing device is battery operated, so be sure to carry at least 15 extras.

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Everyone knows Haute Couture models are skinny ( and NOBODY notices the ones that aren’t!)

So what do you do?! Diet?? EXERCISE in the DEVIL’S playground(gym)………..?!?!?!

OF COURSE NOT!

Who has time for CRAZY activities like that when you have the AMAZING “Friendly” MACHETE that will just SLICE the fat RIGHT OFF YOU!!

Just HACK those love handles away!

SO SIMPLE, it’s almost ILLEGAL!

note: we suggest you mop the floor after usage.

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We are T-O-T-A-L-L-Y concerned about the planet, so what BETTER way to showcase this DEVOTION to Mother Earth than to shred leaves from trees and WEAR THEM?!

Furthermore, it will T-O-T-A-L-L-Y hold any escapee internal organs!