Human laboratory of unparalleled misery

The unfortunate job chronicles: Part 1 *

Every morning would start the same way. I’d wake up disappointed I wasn’t dead yet. I don’t mean this in a suicidal way, but such was the magnitude of horrendous angst I felt about my job. I didn’t want to DIE die, but more so just quietly vanish.

Me drowning in despair…

Cloaked in darkness and wrapped in sorrow, I would force myself out of bed. With the shadow of despair looming over my head, I’d head over to the bathroom to bathe in my own tears.

Like a grieving widow, I’d walk down the street towards the bus that would eventually take me to my execution job.

IF ONLY…if only that were an option…

Upon entering the bus, the other nameless faces would gaze blankly at me. There was no need for polite talk, we all knew where we were headed. Well, at least I did. I am certain all the laughter that echoed around me was meant ironically. I would think of happier days.However, I would be quick to dismiss these thoughts, why tease myself with happiness I’ll never know again. Might as well get used to my life sentence.

Inevitably, no earthquake would occur, and a musky wave of disappointment would engulf my already empty and hopeless heart. The bus would never fall down a darkened crevice into the soft bosom of death. The bitterness had me grasping the remaining seven hairs on my head in sheer frustration.

It would have been so beautiful…

Alas, I would eventually find myself dropped off at my stop. As I walked those final steps towards damnation work, I would skip over the streets littered with dead bodies. Okay, fine, there were no dead bodies, but there might as well have been.

Gazing at my ominous work building that was wired with steel (and bone, if you look close enough), I would just SIGH. Sigh and SIGH, for what else can one do when one is busy regretting the day their mother gave birth to them.

Like a crazed prisoner being led to an electric chair, futile thoughts would rush through my brain.

‘Where is gang violence when you need it?!’

‘ Am I not good enough to be kidnapped?! How dare kidnappers discriminate? No wonder world rife with self esteem problems when you have criminals selecting victims as opposed to random selection!’

SIGH

😦

At long last, I would succumb to my ill fated destiny and walk up the silent steps (that were etched with the desperate scratchings of those that came before us). The sight of my fellow inmates colleagues made me want to rip out my last remaining tooth( had I of course only one tooth).

Like many mornings before, and many more that were yet to come, I would silently pray that today would (finally) be the day that the mythical force majeure clause would finally come to fruition.

* Slight exaggeration may have been utilised.